I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
