Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
