I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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