This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
