my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
