I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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