Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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