She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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