Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
