You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
