just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
