I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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