I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
