YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
