I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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