I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
