My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
