the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just had sex on a roof
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
