how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
