idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
