Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We have started to decorate penises.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
