Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
