Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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