i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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