mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
