ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize