i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
