Even the bartender felt bad for me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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