So drunk its hurt
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
