Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
