the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize