He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
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Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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