If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
