some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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