Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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