so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
