i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
