I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Randomize
