haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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