roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
