Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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