There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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