We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
