When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
All the doctor said was why
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize