Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
