Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
