would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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