left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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