Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
