Where is the hickey?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
