ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
