Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
