Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
