i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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