Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize