Don't you send me to vm
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
