is your mom at the bar?
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
