he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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