I think I am morally bankrupt
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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