Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
