My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
