You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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