Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
