I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
