We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
