Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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