just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
