she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
