yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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